Is this a good Persuasive speech so far???? for a town hall meeting?

Some basic errors: Avoid using the term 'Victorian' ans replace it it with ''resident of Victoria'. You second line is vague! Are you trying to say 'What the council is there for'? If so, then say something like "The issue here is the reason you were elected. You are here to provide services and facilities, and bring order to the lives of the people of Victoria. You now appear to be straying from that fundamental task, with several councillors unwilling to pay attention to what the residents are asking for, and what they need or want. You seem instead to be paying more attention to what you as individuals and as a group want, by initiating or supporting expensive facilities which are not entirely necessary for you to carry out your basic functions, which, I repeat, are the needs and requirements of the residents of Victoria. The proposed new six story administration building for the Hume City Council at Broadmeadows, which will cost $20,000.000.00, is not a necessity, and will therefore be an unjustifiable fiscal burden on the people of Victoria. The money would be far better spent on far more important things such as schools, cleaner parks and facilities, and making the neighbourhoods safer.