Is someone being abused here? I can't tell anymore!?

I'm always thinking my marriage is good, and then something happens (I don't even know what! most the time) that throws our whole co-exsisting life into the fire. He says I never listen to him, but I feel the same way. I feel like I'm walking on egg shells because I never know what will set him off (although he says that he always tells me). Am I the blind one? Is he right? I mean, yesterday morning, we got up and I was under the impression that we were hunky dory, then he starts giving me the TOTAL cold shoulder, and why? He says it doesn't matter and I should know by now. I mean, what is that?! I realize I do things wrong because every human does, but why am I always left in the dark about things because he never opens up or just silently makes me feel guilty about little things (like staying at a friends house for an hour longer than I said). I know this isn't too detailed...but I'm just really confused. I'm forgetful, I admit. So when I tell him that, he says I don't care and that getting anything out of me, is like 'pinning jello to the wall'. I mean, when he wants , I give it to him. When he wants to eat, I cook. When he says anything, I usually do it because I just want to be happy. I HATE fighting. It's bad for our kids and our marriage. I've left SO many times...then he makes promises to change and that things will be different from here on out...then a month later, we're back to fighting. He says it's because I haven't changed. That he's sick of telling me and that I need to take 'initiative'. I mean, he's faithful, hard-working and provides for us...but I'm so hurt most the time...and now I'm starting to wonder if I'm the one who is wrong, and he is the one being emotionally abused? Sorry this explanation is so confusing.